You know you’re not okay and will never be okay when you start crying every now and then and still blame it on your PMS.

I have died everyday waiting for you.

“Placing my hands on your face, feeling your lashes against my cheeks, leaning my head against yours, closing my eyes, filling myself of your scent.. Then and there, I could be lost in that moment. If only I could stop the time, as cliche as it may sound, I would. If only your were mine, as old as the saying goes, I’d never let you go.”

And in those 3 hours, a lot of different things flashed in my mind.

I could have just enjoyed that moment, I could have just hugged you tight, and be content that we were under that one sheet, and yet it was the day my worst nightmare haunted me.

You slept beside me comfortably, not feeling a bit concerned, feeling not even half of the things that saddens me. I just knew then that I could spend the rest of my day watching you sleep, feeling your heartbeat as I put my hands across your chest, hearing you breathe and having the feel of your lashes next to my cheek. 

You felt nothing, but to me lying beside you was my happy place. You, complete with your snores and your shortcomings, was the one person I know who could make me want to break all the rules. These are all the reasons for my nightmare because I knew then that I was giving importance to someone that would not even spare me a second glance. What was special for me was something you don’t even give a damn anymore.

leilockheart:

from where-the-heart-is.tumblr.com

I deserve much better than this.

Whoever said I didn’t know that?

But sometimes people settle for less not because they don’t value their selves, but because they thought they were giving importance to someone who would value them.

(Source: icanread)

(Source: icanread)

(Source: icanread)